Toxic traits are damaging. To you and to those around you. There are many toxic traits that take different guises. How can we seek these out and do better?
I try to be an organised person. I like to feel in control. In control of myself and in control of my situation. I have recognised that this may cause me to carry toxic traits, but do not consider myself to be a toxic person. I try to seek out these traits and understand what I’m trying to achieve. And do better. I have no right to control my children, they are individuals. I have no right to control my husband, he is his own person. I can’t control them. I don’t want to control them. I love them for who they are. Not what I want them to be. But how I can achieve the order and structure I desire without taking control?
Manipulation, narcissism, insincerity, and judgment. These traits do not help any relationship. I could consider that my fantastic organisational skills keep my family on track. I ensure the success of everyone by controlling all situations as that’s my strength and I’m only helping them. However just because that’s my way of doing things, it doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. My traits may not suit their personalities.
Collaboration, conversation, and consideration. I don’t think you can live your whole life compromising at every situation. Imagine not living your life on your terms. Relentlessly. I’ve found that my need for schedule after schedule in order not to miss an event makes me happy but it could be creating stress and anxiety in my family. By working together you can establish a way of allowing everyone to have a chance to live their way. Together.
I have seen a lot of people who consider themselves to be puppeteers, who strategically try to control and manipulate the people around them and situations around them to seek their desired end result. You would think they would execute the show exceptionally and be the happiest of people. Nope! They are miserable, exhausted and unfulfilled. Refrain from this.
You can only control yourself, control your circumstances, control your situation. Anything else becomes unhealthy. Free will is exercised; demolishing that puppeteer’s show. Taking control of yourself, control of your circumstances is truly where the freedom lies.
You don’t find happiness, you make happiness.David Leonhardt
Free yourself from toxic traits. Free your mind. Free your time. Empower your life seeking to control your happiness from within. Seek your happiness. It’s all about You.
Happiness is when, what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.Mahatma Gandhi